GODDESS BLOG
Finding Home, a Journey Back to Myself 🌻
Finding Home, a Journey Back to Myself 🌻
One year ago today, my Godmother left her body and went home. When I got the call from her caregivers, it occurred to me that I wanted to honor her transition from life to life-after-death with a ritual. Immediately, I had the idea to decorate her body with flowers.
But, which flowers would she want me to use for this ritual? Believing that she could hear me across the veil, I asked her, “What color flower would you like me to use?” “Yellow!” I heard her exclaim with glee. Her answer caught me by surprise; I thought for certain my Godmother would have preferred purple flowers—after all, historically, purple is the color of royalty— and she was nothing less than royalty!
As it turns out, I’m glad I followed this instinct . . .
JOURNEY TO THE GODDESS
Finding Home, a Journey Back to Myself 🌻
One year ago today, my Godmother left her body and went home. When I got the call from her caregivers, it occurred to me that I wanted to honor her transition from life to life-after-death with a ritual. Immediately, I had the idea to decorate her body with flowers.
But, which flowers would she want me to use for this ritual? Believing that she could hear me across the veil, I asked her, “What color flower would you like me to use?” “Yellow!” I heard her exclaim with glee. Her answer caught me by surprise; I thought for certain my Godmother would have preferred purple flowers—after all, historically, purple is the color of royalty— and she was nothing less than royalty!
As it turns out, I’m glad I followed this instinct. Several days after my Godmother’s passing, I shared with my mother the story of how I came to choose yellow flowers for the ritual. She gasped and looked at me, surprised, before saying, “Yellow was Michele’s favorite color.”
Shortly after gathering every yellow flower I could find in the store’s paltry flower section, I arrived at my Godmother’s adult family home. For nearly an hour I decorated her head and torso with luminous, scented yellow flowers. Sweet daisies, regal roses, and gargantuan sunflowers embraced the contours of her head and shoulders, emanating a golden glow. When I placed the last rose over her heart, I stepped back and realized I had encapsulated her head in a golden flower crowned halo.
In the stillness of this moment, I was taken aback by the serene glow that was spread across her face. I knew in my heart that she had finally found peace in her final moments. I also knew that she had made it home.
🌻
Throughout much of my adult life, I have been preoccupied with finding my home, primarily driven by geographical location. While finding one’s “home” in a physical space IS important, for many wanderers and seekers such as myself, I’ve discovered that the search for “home” is actually much more complex. “Home” has deep psychological, symbolic, and spiritual meanings equally worthy of exploration. After all, “home is where the heart is.”
Several years ago, seeking advice, I shared a story with my godmother about a man in my life. With rapt attention, she waited until I was finished, pointed to my womb, and told me that the interaction occurred in that way because deep down “he recognized home.” That was the first time I truly understood that home was not just a building with four walls and a roof.
Home is relational.
Home is embodied.
Home is within me because I have a womb. Now, as I recount this story, I realize what a great honor—but also what a great responsibility—it is to have a womb, to embody “home” in such a literal and symbolic way.
Of course, the womb is not the only meaning of home.
In fact, you may have other interpretations. For example, home might be another person. It could even be a beloved pet, or perhaps a favorite tree, lake, or mountain.
For others, home is the location from which their ancestors originated.
Still, I’ve discovered that home can demarcate different life stages. For example, Seattle is my original home, the place where I was born and raised, whereas I consider New York City to be my artistic home. Pacifica Graduate Institute, the place where I received my Masters and PhD, is the home that helped me deepen into my womanhood.
These days I am completely enthralled with exploring what it means to be a woman, especially outside of enculturation. How do we, as women, find our inner home and sense of self as embodied females when society has given us inadequate definitions of “woman”?
Thus, with all of its potential meanings, the quest to find “home” may just be the most meaningful journey of a person’s life. The spiritual teacher Ram Dass was right when he said, “We’re all just walking each other home.” That is, the quest for home is the journey, the only journey each any of us is actually on.
Now it’s your turn. Search within yourself, search your heart, and let me know what home means to you.
🌻 Annalisa, PhD
In Loving Memory of Michele Chelenza
IN THIS NEWSLETTER:
Current Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes
Goddess News
What I’m Reading
Feature: In Memoriam
Upcoming Interviews
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Latest Episodes:
“Each of us longs for home. More than a physical space, we each desire the sense of feeling at home. But where do we find that? Why do some places feel more like home than others? How do we create home when we live far away from what feels familiar?” — Jan Peppler, PhD
Check out my conversation with Jan Peppler, PhD to learn about the psychological and archetypal underpinnings of “home” and how to feel at home wherever your are.
It’s easy for creative people to get stuck and bogged down in perfectionism and never quite get their creative visions off the ground. So how exactly can you materialize your creativity? Join me in conversation with Maia Wilde as she offers radically honest advice to those wanting to get out of their own way and take action on their creative visions!
How do myth and eco-consciousness intersect? Find out in this conversation with Fates and Graces cofounders, Dr. Stephanie Zajchowski and Dr. Joanna Gardner.
Goddess News
Featured Speaker at the Mary Magdalene Studies Association annual event. Free of charge!
When: Mary Magdalene’s Feast Day, July 22nd. 8:30am - 5:30 pm Eastern Time Zone.
Where: Live On Zoom https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87530708993
Title of Presentation: “Finding Mary Magdalene: Pilgrimage as Homecoming for the Soul” (Scheduled for 1:15pm Eastern)
Featured Speaker at Fates and Graces Mythologium
When: July 29-31st 2022.
Title: “Ecological Empathy: Grief in the Age of the Anthropocene”
Registration is open through July 25th!
In May, I was invited to speak on Maia Wilde’s podcast, “Dirt Road Less Travelled,” to discuss abortion and the recent decision by SCOTUS (draft opinion at the time) to overturn Roe v. Wade. Drawing on my doctoral research, we did a deep dive into the historicity of male-centered societies and their control of women’s reproductive bodies and how this has continued into present-day America. LISTEN to our conversation.
What I’m Reading:
“Goddess Durgā and Sacred Female Power”
This book is a great beginners guide to the history and beliefs of Shakta Tantra. Laura Amazzone combines personal narrative of her first hand account of goddess pilgrimage in Nepal with a deeply researched history of goddess worship in the Hindu and Buddhist Shakta Tantra traditions.
I was excited to learn that this tradition focuses on achieving enlightenment or liberation through the body. More specifically, in this tradition, the female body is the vehicle toward enlightenment! Needless to say, sacralizing the female body is key.
I can’t recommend this book enough to those (especially women) who want to feel empowered in their body.
Feature: In Memoriam
Pearl Means & Rosemary Ruether
Pearl Means
was a film maker, Indigenous Diné activist, and author. (Photo Credit: Mark Gerke. Posted on Native News Online).
Rosemary Ruether
was a feminist theologian, scholar, and eco-feminist. She was a prolific writer, authoring several influential books including, “Gaia and God: An Ecofeminist Theology of Earth Healing.”
This book was pivotal to my understanding of how the Christian religion has justified the domination of women and nature (both codified “feminine”) through mythologies that exalt male divine power while suppressing feminine divine power.
(Photo from: Feminismandreligion.com)
Upcoming Interviews:
Dr. Joanna Kujawa
Scholar. Spiritual Detective. Author of:
“The Other Goddess: Mary Magdalene and the Goddess of Eros and Secret Knowledge”
Dr. Megan Rose
Transformational Psychologist. Pagan Scholar. Ecospiritual Priestess. Holistic Healer. Author of:
“Normalizing the Paranormal: Helping Highly Sensitive People to validate, ground & cultivate their extraordinary gifts & experiences”
Krishna Rose
Oracle of the Grail. Prophetess. Priestess of the Magdalene. Author of:
“Woman in Red: Magdalene Speaks”
“The Other Goddess: Mary Magdalene and the Goddess of Eros and Secret Knowledge”
June 2021 Newsletter
You know what I love? Birthdays. And last Sunday was my 38th birthday. I’m an inclusive birthday celebrator and believe everyone should be celebrated on their special day. On my birthdays, I insist on doing something unique to thoroughly mark the occasion as extraordinarily memorable.
A Celebratory Birthday Ritual to Honor My Motherlines
You know what I love? Birthdays. And last Sunday was my 38th birthday. I’m an inclusive birthday celebrator and believe everyone should be celebrated on their special day. On my birthdays, I insist on doing something unique to thoroughly mark the occasion as extraordinarily memorable.
Intriguingly, this way of birthday celebrating is similar to the original meaning of taboo. In Polynesian, the word is actually “tapu,” which means “to mark thoroughly”. Even though today we talk about taboo in negative terms, its original meaning is a simple, but purposeful, recognition of something (or someone) that is out of the ordinary from day to day life.
So, given the unpredictable circumstances of this year, I challenged myself to come up with plans that would be flexible, adaptable, and thoroughly remarkable. Knowing that distance travel would not be the best option, I turned inward to see what I could do close to home. Then, it came to me. For nearly 25 years, I have been having the same recurring dream: I am traveling down a winding, wooded road on Friday Harbor, WA. I am searching for the house my maternal grandparents built and lived in when I was a child; a place that holds many happy memories. I keep searching, but never find it.
Friday Harbor is an island off the mainland of Washington state and is a gigantic stone’s throw away from the southern tip of Vancouver Island, Canada. Just as my grandparents were preparing to move off the island, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer and died not too long afterward. I am not sure if she ever lived in her new house. Something about my reoccurring dream, and my childhood memory of her during that time in my life, seems to have been telling me that she never left and has remained there on Friday Harbor, waiting for me.
Neither my mother nor myself have been to the island since my grandmother died. Remembering this dream, I suddenly realized that the most memorable thing I could do for my birthday would be to travel to Friday Harbor with my mom and perform a ritual together to celebrate my grandmother, as well as the other women up my Motherline who made my life possible.
This is exactly what we did. After locating my grandmother’s favorite beach, I searched for the perfect piece of drift wood and decorated it with flowers in hues of red, pink and orange. Placing a strand of hair on the flower-decoration, we each whispered a prayer to my grandmother, and then named the mothers and grandmothers in our ancestral line as far back as our memories would allow. We toasted to Grandma Bev, and sipped champagne in her honor. We walked down to the water’s edge. I waded knee-deep in the cold water and gently released her flower-offering into the ocean.
On this side of my birthday, I can honestly say that this might be one of the most memorable birthdays of my life. Celebrating my life by honoring the lives of others was a unique experience.
What I am certain of is this: Setting my memory of my grandmother free into the ocean, freed something inside of me, too.
IN THIS NEWSLETTER:
Recent Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes:
“Devī: Archetype of Life” (Parts 1 & 2) with Mala Setty, PhD
“The Return of Mary Magdalene” an interview excerpt with April Heaslip, PhD
“Everyday Goddess” interview with Natasha Thomas
Latest Goddess News:
Lisa Levart’s interview with me for the Goddess on Earth Oracle Deck
Fates and Graces Mythologium
Feature: Women to Follow
Carol P. Christ, PhD
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Latest Goddess News
A conference by mythologists for myth enthusiasts. Run by two fantastic women, Stephanie Zajchowski, PhD and Joanna Gardner, PhD. Register today!
Feature: Women to Follow
Carol P. Christ, PhD
Feminist Theologian, Goddess Scholar, and Ariadne Tour Leader
(Image: From her website)
I first learned about Carol P. Christ from “Why Women Need the Goddess”, an essay she published in 1979 in a book (Womanspirit Rising) she co-edited with Judith Plaskow. I am currently revisiting this essay—again—for the umpteenth time because it lays the foundation for my doctoral thesis. Needless to say, each time I read her essay I come away from it invigorated, inspired, and feeling as though I am on the right path.
Christ also leads Ariadne Pilgrimage Tours in Crete and has published many books on the Goddess.
Check out her website: goddessariadne.org