GODDESS BLOG

Annalisa Derr Annalisa Derr

My Origin Story

I reached out to place my hand on the statue of Mary Magdalene one last time. As my hand made contact with her knee, a drop of water fell from the cave ceiling and landed on my third eye.

For a moment I froze. I could hardly believe that Mary Magdalene had communicated with me in such a direct yet profound way.

“I’ve been anointed,” I exclaimed quietly inside my head.

I reached out to place my hand on the statue of Mary Magdalene one last time. As my hand made contact with her knee, a drop of water fell from the cave ceiling and landed on my third eye.

For a moment I froze. I could hardly believe that Mary Magdalene had communicated with me in such a direct yet profound way.

“I’ve been anointed,” I exclaimed quietly inside my head.

I looked around to see if anyone else had witnessed what had just happened. No one had. In that moment I realized it was a private exchange shared only between Mary and me inside her hidden cave sanctuary in the hills of Provence.

Two years prior to my journey to this Mary Magdalene cave, I experienced goddess worship for the first time while traveling through India. It was overwhelming. The goddess was worshipped not simply as a theological concept, but as an indwelling presence within people (especially women), animals, plants, and the earth.

In a moment of clarity—or perhaps divine grace—I saw the difference between this goddess-centric tradition and the goddess-phobic tradition I had grown up within. This moment of insight ignited in me the quest to find the missing goddess within the Christian tradition. Soon afterward, Mary Magdalene became my guide and companion on this journey.

My research over the next two years revealed that there was much more to her than the traditional stories (for example, she was not a harlot), which maligned and misrepresented her in ways that undermined women’s authority, humanity, and sacred roles within Christianity. I also wondered what this emergent version of Mary Magdalene might teach us about the missing goddess within Christianity. My next step became immediately clear: the only way to find the real Mary Magdalene was to travel to the places in France said to hold the stories of her life there. In that moment, my pilgrimage had begun.

The seed of anticipation is planted the moment a pilgrim answers the call to pilgrimage. Excitement and fear occupy her mind, painting endless fantasies of what might be—what she longs for and what she secretly dreads.

I arrived in France anticipating that I would find answers about Mary Magdalene that I could not find in the books I was reading. Yet, like any worthwhile journey, Magdalene gave me what I needed—not necessarily what I wanted.On the morning of my first visit, I set out on the hike with “the triple goddess Marie,” a daughter–mother–grandmother trio I had met at the communal breakfast hosted by the Dominican monastery that tends Magdalene’s cave. I gleefully spoke in Franglais as we traversed the rock-strewn path through the dense, ancient forest. As we approached the entrance to the cave, my heart raced. I eagerly awaited my encounter with Mary Magdalene.

The second and third visits were strikingly more challenging. My legs were sore from the first climb, and I had to stop frequently to catch my breath. Anticipation turned to impatience as I fought my bodily limitations. My sole desire was to be inside the cave, sitting before my favorite statue of Mary Magdalene.

Legend has it that Mary Magdalene spent the last thirty years of her life in deep prayer inside the cave in France.

When I arrived, the cave was dim, moist, and surprisingly spacious. Though she was no longer physically there, she made her presence gently known. Candles illuminated the statues of Mary Magdalene and the single relic above the reliquary, which seemed to glow with an otherworldly presence. The constant flow of pilgrims was evident. Dedicated plaques dating back to the 1800s—petitioning Mary Magdalene for aid—decorated the wall near the entrance. Red roses and small handwritten notes were tucked into the corners of her statues. I felt immensely honored to be one of the thousands of pilgrims who had made the trek to her sacred abode over the centuries.

I took the stairs down to the lower level of the cave and walked toward my favorite Mary Magdalene statue to say goodbye. Her downward gaze met mine. I could almost feel her anguish as she gripped the cross in her hands, imploring pilgrims to bear witness to her heartbreak. I placed a handwritten message and a single red poppy in the crevice between her knee and the base of the statue.

I reached up to touch her statue one last time to thank her for guiding me there. And then it happened—my anointing.

That was my third and final visit to the cave in two days, and it was only the beginning of my pilgrimage. That morning I would leave to visit another site along the pilgrimage route: the church of Saint-Maximin, which houses the infamous golden-encased skull of Mary Magdalene. Despite my desire to remain within the warm embrace of Magdalene in that cave, I knew it was time to move on. The anointing moment in the cave felt like an initiation into the path of the Sacred Feminine. It was as if my unwavering devotion to finding the real Mary Magdalene—the most misunderstood woman at the heart of Christianity—had been witnessed and affirmed.

It became clear that my departure from my New York life had not been misguided. I had saved every dollar, worked double shifts as an actress moonlighting as a barista, and had given up my NYC apartment to make this journey possible. In that moment with Mary in her cave, I knew I had found my path.

At the end of my journey, I realized that my pilgrimage to find the “real” Mary Magdalene behind the biblical narrative was actually about me, not her. It taught me that pilgrimage is not simply a physical journey to sacred places. It is an inner journey of self-discovery.

Mary Magdalene was not my end result, but rather my guide on a journey to discover what it means to be a woman through the eyes of the world’s goddesses and their human heroine counterparts. Since then, I have approached my life as if I am on one continuous pilgrimage.

The invitation? To let pilgrimage become a way of life rather than a final destination.

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Is it time to re-enchant the world?

Right now, I’m looking into the ancient mystery traditions. The ancient mysteries were secretive rituals. Their purpose was to give people a profound experience of the nature of existence. The central concept? Life and death are two sides of the same coin; death and birth are the same event. 

We don’t really know what happened in these rituals because initiates were sworn to secrecy. And most people didn’t break this vow. 

We do know that these rituals changed people to their core.

In ancient Greece, the goddesses were central to this ritual.

Villa of Mysteries, Pompeii

IN THIS NEWSLETTER:

Annalisa’s Letter

RECENT Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes

Goddess News

What I’m Reading

Feature: Women to Follow

Upcoming Interviews

 

DON’T FORGET . . .


 

Is it time to re-enchant the world?


I don’t know about you, but I have always walked through the world with a sense of enchantment.* Life lights me up.

When I lived in NYC, it wasn’t uncommon to find me wandering along my favorite streets from the East Village to the West Village while listening to the Amelie soundtrack. I do anything I can to heighten my experience of enchantment.

In these strange times, it’s been challenging to sustain a feeling of enchantment for life. But, I find that the more I stay engaged with the world of mythology, the easier it is for me to stay immersed in my sense of wonder for the world.

Right now, I’m looking into the ancient mystery traditions. The ancient mysteries were secretive rituals. Their purpose was to give people a profound experience of the nature of existence. The central concept? Life and death are two sides of the same coin; death and birth are the same event. 

We don’t really know what happened in these rituals because initiates were sworn to secrecy. And most people didn’t break this vow. 

We do know that these rituals changed people to their core.

In ancient Greece, the goddesses were central to this ritual. At Eleusis, the myth of Demeter and Persephone (Kore) dramatized the agricultural cycle of the grain. Demeter was the mature grain, and Kore was the maiden grain traveling into the underground every winter, only to be reborn again in the spring. Their story symbolizes the mystery of life which was revealed through the symbolism of a stalk of grain. This myth was the foundation for the Eleusinian mysteries.

Fun fact: I had the opportunity to visit Eleusis last fall. Despite its ruinous state, I stepped around the site in sheer glee, imagining what it must have been like to have experienced the Eleusinian mysteries.

Rituals that revealed the mysteries of life were an essential part of life for many of our ancestors. They gave people meaning, purpose, and a shared sense of community. 

They maintained the enchantment of the world. 

I question the accepted idea that time progresses in a linear direction and, with it, the idea that humanity is the most advanced it’s ever been. The reality of life is messier than that.

In fact, in Hindu traditions, time is perceived cyclically as the Yuga cycle. It is partitioned into 4 descending ages, beginning with the golden age and followed by the silver, bronze, and dark ages.

According to this millennia-old tradition, humanity is currently in the Kali Yuga (aka, the dark age). This is the densest and most challenging stage in the cycle. In this age, humanity is at its worst. Endless wars, children killing children with guns, the threat of nuclear annihilation, human trafficking, massive wealth inequality, widespread substance abuse, the mistreatment of animals and the Earth, and the threat of climate destruction exemplify the nature of the Kali Yuga. 

Does this mean there is no goodness in the world? Of course not! There is goodness. And it’s growing and expanding. Many people are waking up to see the world with eyes of love and acceptance. It seems, however, that just as love expands, so does our hubris and ignorance. And our hubris and ignorance are accelerating at an incredibly dangerous rate. 

The world today is in the midst of a massive existential crisis. I think it’s time to look backward as well as forward. When I look at the ancient past, I can see a world that was far from perfect but knew something about the meaning of life that we are missing today.

They were tapped into the secret mystery of life that made life worth living and preserving. 

They saw the world through enchanted eyes. 

My dear late friend Justin had a dream to rebuild the ancient mysteries. He felt humanity needed these mysteries for us to become better humans. 

I wonder, could his vision for a loving world be realized through modern versions of these ancient mystery rituals and the re-enchantment of the world?

Let me know your thoughts!


🌺Annalisa, PhD


*Inspired in part by Chloe Valdary’s “Enchantment Theory”

Eleusis today. Picture of the sacred well Demeter sat beside during her search for Persephone-Kore. Picture by yours truly.


Recent Episodes:

Who was the real Mother Mary -- the woman behind the story of Jesus?

In her book, “Conversations with Mother Mary,” Mikki Baloy asks, “Does anyone have ownership over Mary or her story?” This question hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, the Mary in my mind went from an archetypal all-compassionate, yet docile, grieving mother, to a fully formed, human woman! In Mikki’s account, Mary is fierce yet gentle, her body shows the wear and tear of a life spent working with her hands, rearing many children, and loving her husband.

Through Mikki’s account, we receive Mother Mary’s sage guidance for troubled times.


Have you ever read a book and felt a visceral energetic sensation course through your body? Almost like an energetic transmission? (This is a phenomenon called shaktipat said to happen in some Hindu lineages).

Well, for me, this is one of those times. It’s not the first time I’ve experienced a transmission from a book, but it was the most immediate and thorough. 

And this time there was no mistaking the source of this energy: It was Divine Feminine energy touching my heart through Rajashree Maa’s words. 

This transmission has been a gift from a true Maestra of her lineage— Kali-Ki Reiki. It was a pleasure to have Rajashree (Joan) Dittrich, PhD, on Journey to the Goddess TV to discuss Kali-Ki, the Divine Feminine Reiki lineage revealed to her by Goddess!

We discuss:

  • The healing power of Reiki.

  • Kali-Ki Reiki, the Divine Feminine Reiki lineage and how it was revealed to her.

  • Why Divine Feminine Reiki healing is needed now on the planet.

  • She guides us through an easy yet powerful Kali-Ki breathing practice.


I first encountered SIMRAN’s wisdom teachings at Barnes and Nobel many years ago when it was still cool to purchase magazines. 

Her 11:11 magazine changed my life. It helped me delve deeper into my newly budding spiritual path. In essence, stumbling upon 11:11 magazine was a sign that initiated me into spiritual teachings that have left an impact on my soul to this day.

I’m delighted to share my latest episode with you, a conversation with SIMRAN: “How to Uncover the Sacred Signs to Living a Meaningful Life.”

**BONUS: Simran guides us through a Sacred Signs meditation midway through the episode**


Goddess News

Details for July 2023 journeY @

 One of the Tribe Journeys

“This magical 11-night, 12-day journey into the heart and soul of the Ecuadorian Amazon is for those who have felt the call of the wild. It’s for those who want to further explore their connection to nature, to the Earth, and to themselves. To heal and learn from the forest, the mountains, the rivers, and the indigenous wisdom keeper custodians of these lands, who generously share their deep knowledge and connection to the earth with us.

The jungle calls to you at exactly the right time, so if you are hearing the call, come!” — From Zoë

Learn More

FEATURED GUEST on The Mindspace Podcast! 

Host and psycholinguist, Boban Dedovic, and I discuss “The Descent of Inanna.” We look at the importance of depth psychology and meaning-making, Inanna as a myth model and an exemplar of female agency, and my unorthodox interpretation of the myth as it relates to female bodily power. Listen to our conversation here.

FEATURED GUEST on TruHealth! 

I have the pleasure of sitting with Kasara D'Elene, M.A., and discussing why a return to sacred feminine consciousness matters for the well-being of women and the world! Listen to our conversation here.

Register for the 2023 Fates and Graces Mythologium conference, “Myth and the Heart.” https://mythologiumconference.com/

Mythologium Conference is July 28th - 30th, 2023


What I’m Reading

The Ancient Mysteries:

A Sourcebook of Sacred Texts

“The Ancient Mysteries”

is a great read for anyone interested in learning more about the meaning behind these ancient secret rituals. Marvin Meyer provides a very concise and easy-to-digest introduction to these sacred rites. This includes an overview of the similarities across cultures, while also providing information on the uniqueness of each tradition. It’s a great book if you want factual information about ancient mystery traditions.


Feature: Women to Follow

Enheduanna

Priestess to the moon god Nanna, poet, and the world’s first author (ca 3rd millennium BCE)

Annalisa at the “She Who Wrote” exhibit featuring the works of Enheduanna.

Pictured with the funeral attire of the infamous Mesopotamian Queen, Puabi.

Enheduanna was a priestess and the world’s first-known author who lived well over 4,000 years ago. She doesn’t have her own Instagram page, but she’s currently having her moment of mass recognition. She is the original influencer from the dawn of written history and her page is a clay tablet.

I recently attended the “She Who Wrote” exhibit at the Morgan Library in NYC and fell in great appreciation for such a powerful and visionary woman.

Enheduanna was a devotee of the great Sumerian goddess, Inanna. She composed at least three powerful poems in praise of Inanna, including the Exaltation of Inanna. She also held a position of great prestige in a culture that was slowly chipping away at women’s rights and sovereignty.

Book suggestion: “Inanna, Lady of the Largest Heart” by Betty de Shong Meador


Upcoming Interviews:

Speaker, Teacher, & Scholar and practitioner in Indigenous contemplative science.

Professor, Author, Artemis Expert & Founder of the Artemis Research Centre

Writer, Sacred Feminine researcher and educator, community builder, initiated priestess in the 13 Moons Lineage, and the host of the Home to Her podcast.


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Mythic Living

As far as this outsider-looking-in can tell, there is nothing more uniquely Greek during the holiday season than Christmas themed pomegranate ornaments, amulets, and table toppers. Simply put, pomegranates are so ubiquitous in Greece during this time of year that they might as well be synonymous with Christmas! Adding to the Christmas spirit, the fancy decorative pomegranates even come with an Evil Eye at their center. Nothing quite evokes the warm and fuzzy feeling of Christmas like the omnipresent gaze of the Evil Eye! 

All jokes aside…

How Mythical Living can transform your life! (& other tales from Greece)


IN THIS NEWSLETTER:

Annalisa’s Monthly Letter

RECENT Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes

Goddess News

What I’m Reading

Feature: Women to Follow

Upcoming Interviews



How a Greek Pomegranate Taught Me the Art of Mythic Living


As far as this outsider-looking-in can tell, there is nothing more uniquely Greek during the holiday season than Christmas themed pomegranate ornaments, amulets, and table toppers. Simply put, pomegranates are so ubiquitous in Greece during this time of year that they might as well be synonymous with Christmas! Adding to the Christmas spirit, the fancy decorative pomegranates even come with an Evil Eye at their center. Nothing quite evokes the warm and fuzzy feeling of Christmas like the omnipresent gaze of the Evil Eye! 

All jokes aside, both the pomegranate and the Evil Eye are symbols that go back to Ancient Greece and very generally represent protection and well-being. Now, you can imagine that the mythologist in me was intrigued. I was dying to know why these ancient symbols play such an important role in the modern Greek Christmas tradition! 

I began this mythic investigation by canvasing several Greeks about the festive meaning of the pomegranate—three, to be exact—and was told that they represent abundance and well-being. In fact, their New Year’s tradition consists of throwing a pomegranate at the threshold of the door in anticipation of the many seeds that will fly out of the fruit. The seeds are said to represent abundance. Therefore, the more seeds liberated from the pomegranate seems to represent an omen of good luck and wellbeing for the coming year. What a mythic way to usher in the New Year! 

This might be a good time to let you know that I have an obsession with the pomegranate, no doubt triggered by their appearance in many Near Eastern mythologies. So, of course, when I hosted an ex-pat American Thanksgiving in my tiny, but Athenian-chic Airbnb apartment, I made sure to prepare my signature Thanksgiving dish: a pomegranate delicacy that I affectionately call, Persephone’s Delight. However, this year, something felt different in the preparation of this dish. As I dug my fingers into its gritty, white flesh and gently plucked the seeds out from their clusters, I watched transfixed as the ruby red juices raced down my fingertips, making little rivers between my fingers that then trickled down my hands. Suddenly, it hit me: I was preparing Persephone’s Delight in Greece, on the land of the culture that originated the myth of Persephone and her pomegranate seeds! I had entered mythic time! 

The pomegranate was no longer simply a tasty fruit that I associated with a Greek goddess; it became a gateway into the ancient past and a culture that mythologized the pomegranate as a symbol of life, death, fertility, the afterlife, abundance, and prosperity. In the story of Persephone’s abduction to the Underworld by Hades, the pomegranate plays the key moment in a (very problematic) story that is commonly believed to mythologize fertility and the agricultural cycle. Hades offers Persephone pomegranate seeds, she eats them, and is henceforth destined to return to the Underworld as his bride for several months every year. Having entered the realm of mythic time, I wanted to understand why Hades gives Persephone pomegranate seeds when he could give her any other number of mythically important fruits, such as figs, olive oil, or honey? Why does the pomegranate play such an important role in this story? Does it have any connection to the modern Greek Christmas tradition?

So, like one does, I began a deep dive into all the academic literature I could find and discovered that the pomegranate represents much more than plant fertility in this story. In fact, I’ve come to believe that the pomegranate in this myth represents a complete symbol for the cosmic feminine and masculine powers of creation! How so, you may ask? Well, this newsletter is the early beginnings of an article I’ll be writing on the meaning of the pomegranate in the Persephone-Hades myth. You’ll just have to wait for the full story—with bated breath, I’m sure! 

What’s the takeaway from my adventures with the Greek pomegranate? On the one hand, my curiosity is now satiated. I have identified for myself a clear link between the contemporary and ancient symbolic meanings attributed to the pomegranate. Not only is there a symbolic link, but there’s an actual medicinal link, too. Modern science has caught up with the ancients and conducted innumerable studies that have shown the massive curative and preventative health benefits of this fruit—some of which are indeed related to increased fertility! But truly, the greatest takeaway is an awareness of how to live mythically.

What does it mean to live mythically? Canvas any number of mythologists and you’d probably get just as many answers as there are mythologists to this question. When I engage with the Living Myth, I find that it re-enchants the world. In other words, the world around and within in me comes alive. In this vein, every living thing from the tiniest organism to the vastest celestial body, every interaction, and every choice has meaning, purpose, and intrinsic value. Living mythically enables me to connect with the limitless patterns of human experiences and, in that space, discover the transpersonal meanings within my personal experiences. The barriers between time and space become preamble and there is a resonance in which, even if only for a nanosecond, I can feel myself interconnected with all Life (past, present, and future). Therefore, engaging the Living Myth is the secret to Living Mythically.

Since leaving Greece (for now), I have discovered the art of mythic living, at least for me. Sometimes distance is necessary because it brings clarity. The modern Greek holiday tradition taught me that the pomegranate IS the LIVING MYTH. Not just for me, but for you, too! I believe that each time you partake of a pomegranate, whether you are aware of it or not, you too, are stepping into a Living Myth. May you step into the New Year with wisdom, grace, and a little bit of enchantment. 

Special thanks to the friends and colleagues who have, for months, engaged with me in a conversation on the meaning of mythic living.


🌺Annalisa, PhD


Recent Episodes:

The Feminine Divine is RISING. She is showing her FIERCE form in the women-led revolution happening NOW in Iran.

 What are the mythological underpinnings of this revolution? How does this indicate the return of the Divine Feminine in the world at large? How can we best support this women-led revolution?

 Find out the answers to these question and more with Iranian born, LA based scholar, writer, lecturer, & story consultant, Dr. Maryam Sayyad.

 In this episode, Maryam gives an in-depth visual presentation that is followed by a Q&A panel discussion with myself and additional guest, Dr. Odette Springer.

 

Have you ever felt the desire to Roar Like a Goddess? I am thrilled to announce my latest interview with world-renowned spiritual teacher, visionary author, and modern mystic, Acharya Shunya.

Join us to learn how to end toxic relationships, unlock the secret to finding your authentic voice, & unleash your inner goddess!

 

Join me as I discuss the mythic and archetypal goddess Inanna with Seana Zalazo, psychotherapist, intuitive channel, spiritual coach, and author of, “The Way of Inanna: A Heroine’s Guide to Living Unapologetically.”

I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion on Inanna one of the most dynamic and powerful and sensual goddesses in the world! She is the ultimate unapologetic heroine.

Seana’s book takes us to the heart of Inanna’s mysteries. She shows us how to work with Inanna and her myths as a path to wholeness and personal empowerment.

 

Who was Mary Magdalene?

What was her role in the Christian story?

What was it like to be the beloved of one of the most important figures in history?

Watch my interview with modern mystic and author of “Woman in Red: Magdalene Speaks”, Krishna Rose, to learn more!


Goddess News

Podcast feature!

Annalisa is featured on The Unapologetic Heroine podcast, with hostess, Seana Zelazo. Seana and I have a deliciously in-depth conversation about the goddess Inanna, female sensuality and power, and, of course, goddess and menstrual-themed performance art by yours truly! Listen to our conversation here: https://sacredstories.com/performance-art-as-ritualwith-dr-annalisa-derr/

Dr. Joanna’s New course!

Dr. Joanna has a brand new course on the Goddesses of Eros and Secret Knowledge. “Reinterpret what you once believed to be true and journey into the fascinating histories and archetypal energies of the Goddesses of Eros and Secret Knowledge in this one of a kind five-part course offered by Dr. Joanna Kujawa at Sacred U.” Click here to learn more!

Call for papers!

The Association for the Study of Mythology is now accepting presentation proposals for their 2023 Symposium, “Waters of Life: Exploring Mythos, Divinity, Beings, and Ecology.” Deadline for submission is: January 15th, 2023. Learn more: https://womenandmyth.org/2023-aswm-conference/

ASWM Conference is May 5th - 6th, 2023

Call for papers!

The Fates and Graces Mythologium is now accepting presentation proposals for their 2023 conference, “Myth and the Heart.” Deadline for submissions is February, 28th 2023. Learn More: https://mythologiumconference.com/

Mythologium Conference is July 28th - 30th, 2023


What I’m Reading

The Jewish Bride

“The Jewish Bride” is a novel by Judit Neurink that imagines into the lived experience of an Iraqi Jewish community, as told through the eyes of one woman. Through the author’s eyes, we experience the potent interior world of a young Iraqi woman; one that is filled with passions, desires, ambition, and a curiosity for the world beyond the borders of her house. In the end, I am reminded that no matter how culturally far apart my life seems to be from that of the lead character, there is indeed an invisible thread that connects us as women.


Feature: Women to Follow

Banafsheh Sayyad

is a sacred dancer, teacher, and founder of Dance of Oneness.

Banafsheh Sayyad

Inspired by a number of dance traditions, Banafsheh’s dance and teachings offer a powerful portal into the sacred that transcends a particular tradition. Learn more about her work: https://danceofoneness.org

(“In the Fire of Grace.” Photo: Mehri Sahihi.)


Upcoming Interviews:

Shamanic & Ancestral Healer & Author

Speaker, Teacher, & Scholar and practitioner in Indigenous contemplative science.

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Diwali abundance from the Goddess Lakshmi! 🪔

As darkness begins to consume the Northern hemisphere of the world at this time, the veil between this world and the world of the spirits—including those of our ancestors—becomes ever thinner. But what is it that we are supposed to see, or unsee, or perhaps even to see-through, at this time?

Do these celebrations encourage us to live and experience life more deeply and profoundly?

Goddess Lakshmi


IN THIS NEWSLETTER:

Annalisa’s Monthly Letter

RECENT Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes

Goddess News

What I’m Reading

Feature: In Memoriam

Upcoming Interviews

DON’T FORGET . . .

Don’t forget! SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel. It’s Free!!

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Happy (belated) Diwali 🪔!

At its most basic, Diwali is the Hindu “festival of lights” that celebrates the triumph of the light over the dark. One of the stars of this festival is goddess Lakshmi. She is a goddess of beauty and maternal nurturance, and represents abundance, sustenance, and continued well-being in the material world. At this time of year, families beautify and purify their homes (as well as their bodies, hearts, and souls) in anticipation of Lakshmi’s arrival and the good fortune she brings with her.

(Want to learn more? Check out my interview, “Celebrating Lakshmi during Diwali” with Daniela Riva).

Diwali takes place after the summer harvest, around the new moon in late October (sometimes early November). To me, Diwali feels as though it is a beautiful precursor to similar cultural celebrations such as Samhain, Halloween, and Day of the Dead. The thread connecting these late fall celebrations is the dance of light and dark at the borderlands between the known and unknown, the seen and unseen. 

As darkness begins to consume the Northern hemisphere of the world at this time, the veil between this world and the world of the spirits—including those of our ancestors—becomes ever thinner. But what is it that we are supposed to see, or unsee, or perhaps even to see-through, at this time? 

Do these celebrations encourage us to live and experience life more deeply and profoundly? 

~~ 🪔 ~~

For me, I am approaching this year’s festivities with a heart broken wide open by the sudden and recent loss of one of my most cherished friends, Justin Dixon. Justin and I met in graduate school and became instant friends. We literally spent thousands upon thousands of hours discussing mythology, Near Death Experiences (NDEs), the meaning of life and death, and how, in his words, “to be a part of the healing of this world.”

When I got the news of his sudden and fatal illness, all I could utter was, “my heart is broken.” When I wrote to inform Dr. Mahaffey—Justin’s beloved Hindu and Buddhist traditions teacher as well as the Chair of his dissertation committee—he shared with me that, “The Heart of Wisdom is a Broken Heart." And also that, “Prajnaparamita is the divine feminine in Mahayana Buddhism (her name means ‘perfection of wisdom’).”

 

As I shared in Justin’s eulogy, “this means to me that we can think of the divine feminine as the indwelling presence of God. She is the experience of God in the material world. In other words, is it through a broken heart that we can access Her Divine Wisdom, which then becomes a profound teaching to realize God, the Infinite, or the Great Mystery. 

 

I am beginning to understand that in his passing—and my heartbreak—he is in a sense guiding me . . . into a deeper, more profound experience of what he called the Infinite, and more so to my true nature beyond my human form. This is probably the greatest gift one person can give to another. This is how he is continuing his work to be a part of the healing of this world from the other side of the veil.”

This deepening—a call to experience the profound heartbreak embedded in the human experience—is where I am currently swimming, here, in the liminal borderlands this Diwali season.

~~ 🪔 ~~

l will leave you with two questions:

  • Which in-sights, if any, are waiting to be discovered by you as we plunge into the liminal borderlands between life and death, light and dark, known and unknown, this Diwali season?

  • What blessings might Lakshmi, the goddess of well-being, have in store for you? 


🪔 Annalisa, PhD

In sweet memory of my friend, Justin Dixon



Recent Episodes:

Join me in conversation with Dr. Megan Rose as we explore this deeply spiritual, personal, and not-so-uncommon experience of marriage to an otherworldly being. Join us as we “normalize the paranormal.”

• But what is Spirit Marriage?

• Can anyone marry a spirit?

• Why would a person even consider such a thing?

• What are the benefits?

Watch our fascinating conversation to learn more!

 

In this episode, Dr. Joanna Kujawa and I discuss her book, ‘The Other Goddess – Mary Magdalene and the Eros of Secret Knowledge’.

A self-proclaimed “spiritual detective,” Dr. Joanna Kujawa dives deep into the sacred feminine power hiding behind the surface of the Christian tradition in the figure of #marymagdalene

I’m also thrilled to note that we discuss how her personal experiences with sacred spiritual practices and philosophies—such as esoteric Hinduism (ie, tantra)—has shaped her quest to reimagine Mary Magdalene within a lineage of erotic goddesses and as a bearer of “Secret Knowledge.”

Watch our riveting conversation to learn more!

 

This video premiered in January 2021. It is a conversation I had with my late friend, Justin Dixon, about the power and meaning embedded in Near Death Experiences (NDEs). His wisdom and insights are timely and sorely needed in our troubled world.

Some key points from this video: Through his work with NDEs, and supported by Quantum Physics theories, Justin wanted to share with people what he said were “the key lessons in NDEs. Such as that they tell us how to make meaning in life for ourselves and how to frame our behaviors so that they are affirming of those lessons…The way we are in service to one another, the way we connect with one another, kindness and self-sacrifice and service are really the meaning in life. This is what we are here for.”

Justin also explained why a soul would want to be born into a physical body, “The physical body is a limiter—it’s insulation— so our minds are infinite [not the physical brain but mind as conscious awareness] and are part of an Infinite Mind which is the Universe itself. We embody in order to be isolated from that infinite connection that we all share. Acts of connection, empathy, love, acts of service, these are actually miracles that happen here in the world. Because physically we are all separate, we may seek connection with one another, we may experience connection with one another. We will never know or be known by someone completely. 

We are having an experience of isolation from the Infinite. And that’s very important because you can’t grow spiritually without struggle. And if in this other place, you are constantly connected to the Infinite, there is no way to struggle, no way to grow, there is no way to practice empathy or to create love if it is always there and always embedded in everything you experience. So being here is a huge gift to each and every individual human being. Because we are given the opportunity to fight our sense of isolation, fight our sense of disconnect from one another and work to love, to be kind, to connect. That in itself is Glorifying the Universe itself.”

Watch the full interview to learn more.


Goddess News

BIG news!

I signed a publishing contract with Inner Traditions to transform my dissertation into a “real” book! That means (eventually) you’ll be able to read all about Inanna and Sacred Menstrual Power at a bookstore near you! Want to learn more about my work? Watch my presentation here!



Dr. Joanna Kujawa invited me to be a guest on her YouTube channel. I was able to share my doctoral work with Inanna and Sacred Female Power and so much more! We had a FABULOUS conversation. Watch it HERE!

Dr. Megan Rose has a new course coming out, too! Her course is called, “The Dark Goddess: Her Many Faces and Expressions.” Click here to learn more!


Dr. Joanna also has a brand new course on the Goddesses of Eros and Secret Knowledge, which will be released on Nov 11. Click here to learn more!



What I’m Reading

Women’s Power to Heal Through Inner Medicine

This book is a game changer. Maya Tiwari healed herself from terminal ovarian cancer at the age of 23. Recovering ancient Ayurvedic teachings about the female body that had nearly gone obsolete, Mother Maya teaches women how to heal our bodies by reconnecting us to our innate embodied feminine wisdom.


Feature: In Memoriam

Sacheen Littlefeather

was an actress and Indigenous civil rights activist, and author. (Photo Credit: UCLA Library Special Collections).

She accepted the academy award for “best performance by an actor” on behalf of Marlon Brando for his role in The Godfather. Her speech was moving, brave, and inspiring. Check out her acceptance speech here: Oscar Speech


Upcoming Interviews:





Krishna Rose

Oracle of the Grail. Prophetess. Priestess of the Magdalene.

Author of, “Woman in Red: Magdalene Speaks”







Seana Zelazo

Psychotherapist and spiritual counselor.

Author of, The Way of Inanna: A Heroine’s Guide to Living Unapologetically.


Dr. Yuria Celidwen

Speaker, Teacher, & Scholar and practitioner in Indigenous contemplative science.

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Finding Home, a Journey Back to Myself 🌻

Finding Home, a Journey Back to Myself 🌻

One year ago today, my Godmother left her body and went home. When I got the call from her caregivers, it occurred to me that I wanted to honor her transition from life to life-after-death with a ritual. Immediately, I had the idea to decorate her body with flowers.

But, which flowers would she want me to use for this ritual? Believing that she could hear me across the veil, I asked her, “What color flower would you like me to use?” “Yellow!” I heard her exclaim with glee. Her answer caught me by surprise; I thought for certain my Godmother would have preferred purple flowers—after all, historically, purple is the color of royalty— and she was nothing less than royalty!

As it turns out, I’m glad I followed this instinct . . .

JOURNEY TO THE GODDESS


Finding Home, a Journey Back to Myself 🌻

One year ago today, my Godmother left her body and went home. When I got the call from her caregivers, it occurred to me that I wanted to honor her transition from life to life-after-death with a ritual. Immediately, I had the idea to decorate her body with flowers.

But, which flowers would she want me to use for this ritual? Believing that she could hear me across the veil, I asked her, “What color flower would you like me to use?” “Yellow!” I heard her exclaim with glee. Her answer caught me by surprise; I thought for certain my Godmother would have preferred purple flowers—after all, historically, purple is the color of royalty— and she was nothing less than royalty!

As it turns out, I’m glad I followed this instinct. Several days after my Godmother’s passing, I shared with my mother the story of how I came to choose yellow flowers for the ritual. She gasped and looked at me, surprised, before saying, “Yellow was Michele’s favorite color.”

Shortly after gathering every yellow flower I could find in the store’s paltry flower section, I arrived at my Godmother’s adult family home. For nearly an hour I decorated her head and torso with luminous, scented yellow flowers. Sweet daisies, regal roses, and gargantuan sunflowers embraced the contours of her head and shoulders, emanating a golden glow. When I placed the last rose over her heart, I stepped back and realized I had encapsulated her head in a golden flower crowned halo. 

In the stillness of this moment, I was taken aback by the serene glow that was spread across her face. I knew in my heart that she had finally found peace in her final moments. I also knew that she had made it home.

🌻

Throughout much of my adult life, I have been preoccupied with finding my home, primarily driven by geographical location. While finding one’s “home” in a physical space IS important, for many wanderers and seekers such as myself, I’ve discovered that the search for “home” is actually much more complex. “Home” has deep psychological, symbolic, and spiritual meanings equally worthy of exploration. After all, “home is where the heart is.”

Several years ago, seeking advice, I shared a story with my godmother about a man in my life. With rapt attention, she waited until I was finished, pointed to my womb, and told me that the interaction occurred in that way because deep down “he recognized home.” That was the first time I truly understood that home was not just a building with four walls and a roof. 

Home is relational. 

Home is embodied. 

Home is within me because I have a womb. Now, as I recount this story, I realize what a great honor—but also what a great responsibility—it is to have a womb, to embody “home” in such a literal and symbolic way.  

Of course, the womb is not the only meaning of home.

In fact, you may have other interpretations. For example, home might be another person. It could even be a beloved pet, or perhaps a favorite tree, lake, or mountain.

For others, home is the location from which their ancestors originated. 

Still, I’ve discovered that home can demarcate different life stages. For example, Seattle is my original home, the place where I was born and raised, whereas I consider New York City to be my artistic home. Pacifica Graduate Institute, the place where I received my Masters and PhD, is the home that helped me deepen into my womanhood. 

These days I am completely enthralled with exploring what it means to be a woman, especially outside of enculturation. How do we, as women, find our inner home and sense of self as embodied females when society has given us inadequate definitions of “woman”?

Thus, with all of its potential meanings, the quest to find “home” may just be the most meaningful journey of a person’s life. The spiritual teacher Ram Dass was right when he said, “We’re all just walking each other home.” That is, the quest for home is the journey, the only journey each any of us is actually on.

Now it’s your turn. Search within yourself, search your heart, and let me know what home means to you.


🌻  Annalisa, PhD


In Loving Memory of Michele Chelenza


IN THIS NEWSLETTER:



Current Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes

Goddess News

What I’m Reading

Feature: In Memoriam

Upcoming Interviews


DON’T FORGET . . .

SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel! It’s Free!!

Consider a DONATION to Journey to the Goddess TV!

Your contribution helps Journey to the Goddess produce goddess-themed interviews with world-renown scholars, artists, and practitioners!

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Latest Episodes:

“Each of us longs for home. More than a physical space, we each desire the sense of feeling at home. But where do we find that? Why do some places feel more like home than others? How do we create home when we live far away from what feels familiar?” — Jan Peppler, PhD

Check out my conversation with Jan Peppler, PhD to learn about the psychological and archetypal underpinnings of “home” and how to feel at home wherever your are.

 

It’s easy for creative people to get stuck and bogged down in perfectionism and never quite get their creative visions off the ground. So how exactly can you materialize your creativity? Join me in conversation with Maia Wilde as she offers radically honest advice to those wanting to get out of their own way and take action on their creative visions!


 

How do myth and eco-consciousness intersect? Find out in this conversation with Fates and Graces cofounders, Dr. Stephanie Zajchowski and Dr. Joanna Gardner.


Goddess News

Featured Speaker at the Mary Magdalene Studies Association annual event. Free of charge!

When: Mary Magdalene’s Feast Day, July 22nd. 8:30am - 5:30 pm Eastern Time Zone.

Where: Live On Zoom  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87530708993

Title of Presentation: “Finding Mary Magdalene: Pilgrimage as Homecoming for the Soul” (Scheduled for 1:15pm Eastern)

 

Featured Speaker at Fates and Graces Mythologium

When: July 29-31st 2022.

Title: “Ecological Empathy: Grief in the Age of the Anthropocene”

Registration is open through July 25th!

 

In May, I was invited to speak on Maia Wilde’s podcast, “Dirt Road Less Travelled,” to discuss abortion and the recent decision by SCOTUS (draft opinion at the time) to overturn Roe v. Wade. Drawing on my doctoral research, we did a deep dive into the historicity of male-centered societies and their control of women’s reproductive bodies and how this has continued into present-day America. LISTEN to our conversation.


What I’m Reading:

“Goddess Durgā and Sacred Female Power”

This book is a great beginners guide to the history and beliefs of Shakta Tantra. Laura Amazzone combines personal narrative of her first hand account of goddess pilgrimage in Nepal with a deeply researched history of goddess worship in the Hindu and Buddhist Shakta Tantra traditions.

I was excited to learn that this tradition focuses on achieving enlightenment or liberation through the body. More specifically, in this tradition, the female body is the vehicle toward enlightenment! Needless to say, sacralizing the female body is key.

I can’t recommend this book enough to those (especially women) who want to feel empowered in their body.


Feature: In Memoriam

Pearl Means & Rosemary Ruether

Pearl Means

was a film maker, Indigenous Diné activist, and author. (Photo Credit: Mark Gerke. Posted on Native News Online).




Rosemary Ruether

was a feminist theologian, scholar, and eco-feminist. She was a prolific writer, authoring several influential books including, “Gaia and God: An Ecofeminist Theology of Earth Healing.”

This book was pivotal to my understanding of how the Christian religion has justified the domination of women and nature (both codified “feminine”) through mythologies that exalt male divine power while suppressing feminine divine power.

(Photo from: Feminismandreligion.com)


Upcoming Interviews:

Dr. Joanna Kujawa

Scholar. Spiritual Detective. Author of:

“The Other Goddess: Mary Magdalene and the Goddess of Eros and Secret Knowledge”





Dr. Megan Rose

Transformational Psychologist. Pagan Scholar. Ecospiritual Priestess. Holistic Healer. Author of:

“Normalizing the Paranormal: Helping Highly Sensitive People to validate, ground & cultivate their extraordinary gifts & experiences”








Dr. Yuria Celidwen

Scholar and practitioner in Indigenous contemplative science. Speaker. Teacher.






Krishna Rose

Oracle of the Grail. Prophetess. Priestess of the Magdalene. Author of:

“Woman in Red: Magdalene Speaks”

“The Other Goddess: Mary Magdalene and the Goddess of Eros and Secret Knowledge”





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What you seek is seeking you 🌺 April 2022

🌺 My Journey to the Goddess began as a young teenage girl, years before I ever knew who or what the Goddess is. She first appeared to me as a ritual agreement with Pele, the Hawaiian volcano goddess; an agreement which I fulfilled over twenty years later in graduate school.

She remained with me throughout my teenage years as a passion for the red hibiscus flower. In fact, the moment I turned 18, I felt the utmost urgency to get an image of the red hibiscus tattooed on my back. It wasn’t until many years later when I realized that the Goddess was speaking to me through my love for this flower. . .

“What You Seek is Seeking You”

My Journey to the Goddess began as a young teenage girl, years before I ever knew who or what the Goddess is. She first appeared to me as a ritual agreement with Pele, the Hawaiian volcano goddess; an agreement which I fulfilled over twenty years later in graduate school.

🌺

She remained with me throughout my teenage years as a passion for the red hibiscus flower. In fact, the moment I turned 18, I felt the utmost urgency to get an image of the red hibiscus tattooed on my back. It wasn’t until many years later when I realized that the Goddess was speaking to me through my love for this flower.

🌺

Reading “Awakening Shakti” by Sally Kempton nearly 15 years later, I learned that the red hibiscus flower is the symbol for the primordial Indic (Hindu) goddess, Shakti. I recognized then that, in a very real sense, my body had been marked by the Goddess. Though my Journey to the Goddess had begun a few years prior, She had actually been with me all along. Rumi’s famous words “What you seek is seeking you” couldn’t have been more true!

🌺

As I was searching my heart for the right words to say in this newsletter today, I couldn’t help but reflect back on my journey that began all those years ago. The past few weeks have brought me closer to my vision of what it means to be in service to the Goddess. For me, it is not a journey to claim some sort of elusive “feminine energy.” Though, this is a totally legitimate path for those who want it!

🌺

Instead, my Journey to the Goddess is actually a quest to discover what it means to be a woman, outside of any patriarchal fantasy, and to share this discovery with others who seek the same. Of course, the Goddess is leading the way. The fruits of the quest have led me to the profoundity of embodied feminine power. Thus, my path to female empowerment is crystalizing in my desire to Resacralize the Female Body.

🌺

But the simple truth is, all Life is sacred. So much of the world is currently dominated by staunch materialistic and anthropocentric paradigms. As a result, the sacrality of Life—and the beauty of our interconnectivity with plant, animal, mineral life, and one another—has increasingly become diminished and distorted for centuries, if not millennia. To truly recognize Life’s sacrality, it will take a reevaluation of many of our inherited beliefs.

🌺

One of which is our notion of power and how we wield it. I believe that the power humans need to cultivate is one that is in alignment with the cyclic powers of Life—think birth, growth, decay, death, and rebirth. And it is time for more women to remember that we embody this cyclic power, as it is so profoundly made manifest, throughout our lives, in our wombs.

🌺

It is a unique and primal power that is simultaneously biological, spiritual, and archetypal. And, I believe, this power—and ALL that it implies—is the feminine power that women, and the world, have been seeking.

🌺

Perhaps Rumi’s visionary words are the antidote for our time.


🌺Annalisa, PhD


IN THIS NEWSLETTER:

Current Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes

Goddess News

What I’m Reading

Feature: Women to Follow

Upcoming Interviews

————————————————————————-

DON’T FORGET . . .

SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel! It’s Free!!


LATEST EPISODES

🩸Why is is that Menstruation is still such a taboo topic around the world? What is it that makes this particular form of bleeding dangerous enough to largely remain hidden behind the cultural curtain? Why do so many women feel period shame

🩸Six years ago, I began to ask myself why I was so ashamed of my menstruation and menstruous body. This has led me down a deep and often dark path filled with anger, rage, and grief, but, ultimately, has given me the opportunity to heal my shame.

🩸This is an EXPANDED presentation of my doctoral work to resacralize menstruation--but with a twist! I asked two colleagues to join me for a post-presentation "Red Roundtable" discussion. In the Q&A section, we deep dive into our blood stories, internalized sexism, the sacred power of menses & so much more!

———————————————————————————-

Is menstruation 🩸 sacred or a curse? What would you think if I said menstruation is one of the most sacred of human acts? I believe that it IS sacred and I have created a Menstrual Art Performance series to honor the sacredness of menstrual blood.

This is a Period Performance called "A Ritual Puja for Menstruation" and is followed by my commentary on the inspiration for the piece, the bleeding goddess of Assam, Kamakhya.

———————————————————————————

After an extraordinary experience with a dying cat, I decided to bring on my dear friend, podcaster, and self realization expert, Maia Wilde to discuss how connecting with my feelings of grief actually healed my body.

This conversation is lively and dives deep into the intelligence of our bodies. Maia also gives several simple and effective techniques to anyone who would like to learn how to safely tap into and experience their feelings. She also shares how to use such techniques as a vehicle for creative expression and emotional healing.


GODDESS NEWS

New!

I am happy to share the publication of “Spirit Marriage” by Dr. Megan Rose! “Spirit Marriage” is an in-depth exploration of the practice, relevance, and purpose of spirit marriage around the world. You may remember Dr. Rose from her great talk on Sacred Sexuality and Mary Magdalene for Journey to the Goddess TV. Find her book, here on Amazon today!

Sunday!

APRIL 10th! The Association for the Study of Women and Mythology will be holding their 2022 Symposium, “Hearing the Invisible: Lessons from the Sentient Beings & Inter-Relational Ecosystems.” For Registration, click here: ASWM SYMPOSIUM

Modern Matriarchy

Enlightenments

Dr. Thomas Daffern (founder of the Mary Magdalene Studies Association) & Satyen Raja will be teaching: “A Course On Enlightenments, East And West:
Examples From The Past And Present, For The Future
.” This course will consist of 12 online tutorials, in which they will take turns presenting role models of enlightenments. This will include sections featuring Mary Magdalene and the work of Marija Gimbutas. For more info, click here.


WHAT I’M (RE)-READING

“Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga”

by Sally Kempton

Shakti

If you’ve ever wondered what the Goddess is, then this is the book for you! Beginning with her personal narrative and an introduction to the meaning of the Goddess from the perspective of Shaiva Tantrism, Kempton takes us on a journey through the many facets of cosmic, deity, symbolic, and energetic feminine powers. Then, chapter by chapter, we learn about 11 goddesses, how to identify their archetypes, and practical how-to methods to access the goddesses’ power for our own empowerment. “Awakening Shakti” is truly one of the most thorough introductions to the


FEATURE: WOMEN TO FOLLOW

Ana Mendieta

was a Cuban-American painter, performance artist, and sculptor.

(Image: Women’n Art)

The more I learn about Ana Mendieta, the more I fall deeply in love with her unapologetic artistic vision and commitment to laying bare the profundity of embodied female power and its interwoven connection with the Earth and other spiritual elements.

Ana used her body as a vehicle of art and often in site-specific, natural settings. For example, in her Esculturas Rupestres series, including works such as Guacar or “Our Menstruation,” Ana carves locally worshipped goddesses into caves outside Havana. These carvings evoke symbolic and existential meanings about female power and embodiment.

In a way, I see myself and my own work with embodied menstrual rituals and retellings of goddess myths, within the artistic lineage so fully explored by Ana as well as other artists like Judy Chicago.

In 1985, Ana died in a tragic incident, that, some say, exemplifies the themes she so powerfully evoked in her art. Ana lives on through her art, which continues to inspire many artists and non-artists alike.

Learn more about Ana Mendieta here.


UPCOMING INTERVIEWS

Fates and Graces Founders. Stephanie Zajchowski, PhD and Joanna Gardner, PhD.

April 2022

Co-founders of Fates and Graces Mythologium, Dr. Stephanie Zajchowski & Dr. Joanna Gardner, will join me for a special Earth Day discussion on the intersection of myth and ecological consciousness.


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women's empowerment, goddess Annalisa Derr women's empowerment, goddess Annalisa Derr

International Women's Day - March 2022

Years ago, I found myself sitting in a tiny, dark performance venue in NYCs Lower East Side. I was super excited to see the famed Living Theatre perform live! In the 1960s and 70s, the Living Theatre had become known for their experimental and avant-garde style and productions that were anti-war focused and critical of capitalist greed. They were, and remain, theatre for social change.

After their performance, they held a Q&A with the cast. I distinctly remember one of the younger cast-members who, through clenched teeth and shaking fists . . .

Happy International Women’s Day!

Years ago, I found myself sitting in a tiny, dark performance venue in NYCs Lower East Side. I was super excited to see the famed Living Theatre perform live! In the 1960s and 70s, the Living Theatre had become known for their experimental and avant-garde style and productions that were anti-war focused and critical of capitalist greed. They were, and remain, theatre for social change. 

🌼

After their performance, they held a Q&A with the cast. I distinctly remember one of the younger cast-members who, through clenched teeth and shaking fists, seethed with anger he could hardly contain as he demanded peace and an end to war. Perplexed, I thought to myself, for a company that promotes non-violence, this is such a strange call for peace on behalf of one of their members.

🌼

It was then that I recalled a quote from Brian Browne Walker’s translation of the Hua Hu Ching, “If you want to awaken humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.” I realized then that the world peace many of us seek can only be achieved when enough people commit to cultivating inner peace within themselves. The outer world is a collective reflection of each individual’s inner dramas and inability to face and come to terms with their own deepest fears and demons. 

🌼

In a way, this is the essence behind Journey to the Goddess. When I embarked on my pilgrimage to Mary Magdalene’s sacred sites in France back in 2014, I was certain that I was going on this quest to find Her, the “real” Mary Magdalene. But by the end of my journey, I realized that my pilgrimage wasn’t really about Her at all. My outer journey to Mary Magdalen was, in actuality, an inner journey to know what it means to be a woman through the very act of seeking Her. 

🌼

Thus, the Journey to the Goddess is a journey of inner awakening. And the Goddess (or god, divinity, or whatever your object of attention), is the vehicle that points the seeker in the direction of this awakening. I believe that such an awakening can cultivate an inner peace to live by, even in the midst of all the challenges the outer world presents.

🌼

It has been eight years since I first embarked on my life-long Journey to the Goddess. I still struggle with my own inner demons and my heart aches for the suffering in the world and also for our Earth Mother. And perhaps a cultivation of inner peace does not preclude compassion for one’s suffering and the suffering of others.

🌼

I fell hope for the future because of the great community of women (and men) around me who are bringing healing to the world, even if in a very (seemingly) small and simple way.

🌼

Over the past few weeks, Deva Premal and Miten have continued to chant the Gayatri mantra for peace; Lama Tsultrim Allione has invited her community to invoke the 13th Tārā, Yülle Gyaljema, “to help end war and the conditions of war”; CODEPINK, the women-led, non-violent movement for peace has continued their call for peace around the world; recognizing that women and children are disproportionately impacted by war and conflict, Women for Women International continues to bring resources and aid to women in these worldwide conflict situations; and finally, the Israel singer Yael Deckelbaum brings together women from warring communities (Israeli and Palestine, for example) to sing for peace. And these are but only a few of the women and women-led groups taking a stand for peace around the world.

🌼

Today, on International Women’s Day, I invite everyone to do one simple thing to get in touch with that peaceful place within. 

🌼

This weekend, I’ll be speaking in more detail about my own Journey to the Goddess and how, to my surprise, graduate school has been central to my own spiritual blossoming. Details in the Goddess News section.

Goddess Blessings to all.

🌺 Annalisa, PhD


IN THIS NEWSLETTER:

Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes

Goddess News

What I’m Reading

Feature: Women to Follow

Upcoming Interviews

DON’T FORGET . . .

SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel! It’s Free!


Latest Episode:

Have you ever looked at your tarot cards and wondered if the tarot is sexist?

Dr. Lisa Skura did and decided to explore the origins of the images in one of the oldest known complete tarot decks, the Sola Busca, made in Italy in the 15th century.

Of the 5 (Lisa argues there are 6) female images in the tarot, Lisa uncovers the mythic and historical symbolism roots. She argues that the female images in the tarot go back to pre-patriarchal goddess worship and its usurpation by male-centered fool--hero myths!

The question remains: Even though the tarot as we have it today has sexist roots, can we reclaim it as empowering for women?

Find out in my most recent talk: "Exploring the Myths, Symbols, & Archetypes of the Feminine in the Sola Busca tarot" with Dr. Lisa Skura.


Vintage Episodes:

Back in January 2020, (Oh, those pre-pandemic days), I teamed up with Kris Oster, PhD to devote a 4-part series to "Sacred Pleasure and the Goddess."

In this series, Kris discusses her approach to life and business as she integrates and celebrates sacred pleasure vis-a-vis the divine feminine.

If you’re like me, you have a deep desire and passion for the work you do in the world, but struggle with workaholism, perfectionism, and “the struggle” to get it all done.

If so, then check out this conversation that's sure to give you a deeply connected and sensuously embodied approach to your work.


Goddess News

I’m thrilled to be sharing my Journey to the Goddess origin story with a new audience! Most of all, I look forward to sharing why womb healing is spiritual healing.

To join this free March 12th summit on Lightworkers Journeys of Awakening, register here: https://go.zarastarchild.com/optin-meoz08qv6d

The Association for the Study of Women and Mythology will be holding their 2022 Symposium on April 10th. For Registration, click here: ASWM SYMPOSIUM

“Goddess Embroideries of Ukraine as Prayers for Peace” by Laura Shannon. Originally published on Feminism and Religion.


What I’m Reading

Honestly, I’m in the middle of at least 5 books at the moment. It reminds me of that old adage: You can take the woman out of graduate school, but you can’t take graduate school out of the woman…




“The Making of the Magdalen: Preaching and Popular Devotion in the Later Middle Ages”

I can not say that this is a pleasurable book to read, but it is a meticulously detailed account of—you got it—the making of Mary Magdalene in the mythic imaginations of the Middle Ages. It is rich in source material and offers a nuanced discussion of the many ways that sexist ideas infiltrate the making of Mary Magdalene into both a sinner and a saint. If you’re like me and you have a burning desire to know the difference between the Biblical Mary Magdalene versus the Magdalene that has come down to us today, then this is your book.


Feature: Women to Follow

CODEPINK

A women-led grassroots organization for peace.

(Image from CODEPINK’S website)

I remember the first time I encountered CODEPINK. I was rushing to get myself out of Times Square as quickly as possible. I remember stopping in my tracks at the sight of this group of mostly women, dressed in bright pink, protesting for peace and the removal of US troops from Iraq. That memory has stuck with me all these years. Moreover, their clarion call for peace is more and more prescient as endless warring seems to be bringing humanity to the edge of extinction.

Originally started by Jodie Evans, Medea Benjamin, and Gael Murphy, CODEPINK is a national organization with an international reach. Their mission is rooted in and sustained by non-violent principles with one central goal in mind: to support the lives and wellbeing of human and non-human life on earth through the a commitment to peace.

As their website states: “CODEPINK is a women-led grassroots organization working to end U.S. wars and militarism, support peace and human rights initiatives, and redirect our tax dollars into healthcare, education, green jobs and other life-affirming programs.”

Last weekend, CODEPINK protests for peace in Ukraine spread across the world.

Join their movement for peace at: CODEPINK


Upcoming Interviews:

MARCH 2022

Yours Truly!

I’ll be debuting two episodes that focus on my work to “resacralize menstruation.” First up, a presentation of my doctoral work followed by a panel discussion with some amazing women.

In the following episode, I will discuss the origin story and symbolic meanings encoded in my 2018 performance piece, “A Ritual Puja for Menstruation.”


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Dancing in the Dark - December 2021

Happy solstice, friends! Over the past few days, I’ve been reflecting on the Winter Solstice and the inevitable dance between dark and light.

I recognize my own resistance to prolonged darkness, cold, and the slowdown the winter season not only encourages, but simply requires of me.

My mind’s eye continues to return to the image of a candle flame illuminating the darkness. Such as in the above image, which is a picture I took at the Church of Santa Maria dell’Orto in Rome during Easter Holy Week 2019.

In some traditions, the candle flame represents the soul as an individual emanation of the Divine. Meditation on such an image reminds me that the candle flame is brightest, strongest, and most beautiful when dancing in the dark. And more so still when the candle flame burns bright among a sea of likeminded flames.

It reminds me that no matter how dismayed I may be by the state of the world, I am surrounded by so many luminous souls who are each doing their part to—in the words of a dear friend—“be a part of the healing of this world”.

That brings me to the many illuminating conversations I have had the great pleasure to facilitate on Journey to the Goddess TV. This year. . .

Dancing in the Dark

Happy solstice, friends! Over the past few days, I’ve been reflecting on the Winter Solstice and the inevitable dance between dark and light. 

I recognize my own resistance to prolonged darkness, cold, and the slowdown the winter season not only encourages, but simply requires of me.

My mind’s eye continues to return to the image of a candle flame illuminating the darkness. Such as in the above image, which is a picture I took at the Church of Santa Maria dell’Orto in Rome during Easter Holy Week 2019. 

In some traditions, the candle flame represents the soul as an individual emanation of the Divine. Meditation on such an image reminds me that the candle flame is brightest, strongest, and most beautiful when dancing in the dark. And more so still when the candle flame burns bright among a sea of likeminded flames.

It reminds me that no matter how dismayed I may be by the state of the world, I am surrounded by so many luminous souls who are each doing their part to—in the words of a dear friend—“be a part of the healing of this world”. 

That brings me to the many illuminating conversations I have had the great pleasure to facilitate on Journey to the Goddess TV. This year I spoke with activists, authors, dancers, scholars, and artists on a wide variety of Goddess-related topics. Some of these women include: Artist Lisa Levart and the debut of her Goddess on Earth Oracle deck (including my portrayal of Mary Magdalene); Indian classical dancer and Success Coach for women leaders, Dr. Vena Ramphal on the Yoga of Dance; as well as my Everyday Goddess collaboration with activist and soon-to-be-author, Natasha Thomas.

Most recently, I was honored to have eco-activist, Zoë Tryon, join me live from the Ecuadorian Amazon, where she works as a cultural liaison with a handful of Amazonian communities, helping them fight international corporate corruption and ecological devastation of their territories. 

I am blessed to have such incredible women who inspire and uplift me on my show. Each of their lights shine bright.

Where do you find meaning and beauty in the dance between the light and the dark?

🌺 Annalisa, PhD

P.S. Every year I also aim to support and amplify a woman-centered organization. This year it is: WomenSpirit Coalition: Sta’ni Shay’i, or Washington State Native American Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. Because of many complex issues of colonialism, racism, sexism, treaty violation, environmental degradation, and geopolitics, Indigenous women around the world are one of the most vulnerable human populations on Earth. This is not because they are weak—quite the contrary—instead, it is more often because so many Indigenous women are on the front lines, willing to put their lives on the line, fighting for ecological, community, and personal justice.

For more info: Native Hope, Native Women’s Association of Canada, A Modern Trail of Tears.


IN THIS NEWSLETTER:

Recent Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes

What I’m Reading

Feature: In Memoriam

Upcoming Interviews

DON’T FORGET . . .

Have you SUBSCRIBED to my YouTube channel yet? It’s Free!!

Become a Journey to the Goddess member on Patreon! Benefits include behind-the-scenes access, goddess gifts, and more!


Latest Episodes:

I’m excited to feature my conversation, “Entering the Heart of the Amazonian Womb” with eco-activist, #ZoëTryon. Join me for this riveting and timely conversation where we discuss:

🌳 What #ecoactivism is and how it is rooted in Divine Feminine / Goddess consciousness.

🌳 Some of the indigenous women on the front lines to save their communities (and by extension, the whole world), from corporation lead environmental devastation.  

🌳 The fight to hold oil companies such as Chevron accountable to ecologically restore the #AmazonRainforest and its communities.

🌳 The best ways to support Indigenous communities 

🌳 What each of us as individuals can do to be a part of the solution.

WATCH

 

In “Regent Women Powerfully Stepping into Midlife”, Dr. Andrea Slominski and I dive deep into the #REGENT archetype. This emerging archetype encompasses the #spiritual, psychological, biological and cultural significance of women’s midlife. In particular, Dr. A reframes and affirms peri-menopause, #menopause, and post-menopause as a time for women to step most fully into their own. In other words, aging is a woman’s superpower.

WATCH


What I’m Reading

I know, I know…I am probably a little late to the party on this one. After learning I had not yet read “The Red Tent”, my friend Toni insisted that I read it. “The Red Tent” is a remythologzation of the Genesis story of sisters Rachel and Leah, as told by Leah’s daughter, Dinah. If you’ve ever read this story in Genesis, like me, you may have felt heartbroken by the rivalry depicted between the two women. This re-imagining remedies this rift and offers a nuanced, affirmative (albeit sometimes challenging) perspective on life, love, and sisterhood.


Feature: In Memoriam

bell hooks

Feminist scholar, author, activist, and professor.

bell hooks—a feminist scholar and author, an activist, and a professor—transitioned on December 15th, 2021. Though I have only encountered bell hooks’ work through the works of other feminists, I have long admired her from afar.

Her impact on feminism and feminists, women and men, is undeniable and palpable.

Of the many bell hooks quotes I’ve seen posted to social media platforms since her death, this is by far my favorite:

“The one person who will never leave us, whom we will never lose, is ourself. Learning to love our female selves is where our search for love must begin.”

 🌺 Goddess Blessings on your journey, bell.


About bell hooks: bell hooks Institute

A few of her more well known books:


Upcoming Interviews:

Dr. Lisa Skura

Speaking on “The Feminine in the Tarot”

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June 2021 Newsletter

You know what I love? Birthdays. And last Sunday was my 38th birthday. I’m an inclusive birthday celebrator and believe everyone should be celebrated on their special day. On my birthdays, I insist on doing something unique to thoroughly mark the occasion as extraordinarily memorable.

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A Celebratory Birthday Ritual to Honor My Motherlines

You know what I love? Birthdays. And last Sunday was my 38th birthday. I’m an inclusive birthday celebrator and believe everyone should be celebrated on their special day. On my birthdays, I insist on doing something unique to thoroughly mark the occasion as extraordinarily memorable.  

Intriguingly, this way of birthday celebrating is similar to the original meaning of taboo. In Polynesian, the word is actually “tapu,” which means “to mark thoroughly”. Even though today we talk about taboo in negative terms, its original meaning is a simple, but purposeful, recognition of something (or someone) that is out of the ordinary from day to day life. 

So, given the unpredictable circumstances of this year, I challenged myself to come up with plans that would be flexible, adaptable, and thoroughly remarkable. Knowing that distance travel would not be the best option, I turned inward to see what I could do close to home. Then, it came to me. For nearly 25 years, I have been having the same recurring dream: I am traveling down a winding, wooded road on Friday Harbor, WA. I am searching for the house my maternal grandparents built and lived in when I was a child; a place that holds many happy memories. I keep searching, but never find it.

Friday Harbor is an island off the mainland of Washington state and is a gigantic stone’s throw away from the southern tip of Vancouver Island, Canada. Just as my grandparents were preparing to move off the island, my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer and died not too long afterward. I am not sure if she ever lived in her new house. Something about my reoccurring dream, and my childhood memory of her during that time in my life, seems to have been telling me that she never left and has remained there on Friday Harbor, waiting for me. 

Neither my mother nor myself have been to the island since my grandmother died. Remembering this dream, I suddenly realized that the most memorable thing I could do for my birthday would be to travel to Friday Harbor with my mom and perform a ritual together to celebrate my grandmother, as well as the other women up my Motherline who made my life possible. 

This is exactly what we did. After locating my grandmother’s favorite beach, I searched for the perfect piece of drift wood and decorated it with flowers in hues of red, pink and orange. Placing a strand of hair on the flower-decoration, we each whispered a prayer to my grandmother, and then named the mothers and grandmothers in our ancestral line as far back as our memories would allow. We toasted to Grandma Bev, and sipped champagne in her honor. We walked down to the water’s edge. I waded knee-deep in the cold water and gently released her flower-offering into the ocean.

On this side of my birthday, I can honestly say that this might be one of the most memorable birthdays of my life. Celebrating my life by honoring the lives of others was a unique experience. 

What I am certain of is this: Setting my memory of my grandmother free into the ocean, freed something inside of me, too.


IN THIS NEWSLETTER:

Recent Journey to the Goddess TV Episodes:

  • “Devī: Archetype of Life” (Parts 1 & 2) with Mala Setty, PhD

  • “The Return of Mary Magdalene” an interview excerpt with April Heaslip, PhD

  • “Everyday Goddess” interview with Natasha Thomas



Latest Goddess News:

  • Lisa Levart’s interview with me for the Goddess on Earth Oracle Deck

  • Fates and Graces Mythologium


Feature: Women to Follow

  • Carol P. Christ, PhD

DON’T FORGET . . .

Have you SUBSCRIBED to my YouTube channel yet? It’s Free!!

Become a Journey to the Goddess member on Patreon! Benefits include behind-the-scenes access, goddess gifts, and more!


Latest Episodes:


“The Return of Mary Magdalene”

an interview excerpt with April Heaslip, PhD

WATCH




“Everyday Goddess”

with Natasha Thomas

WATCH




Latest Goddess News

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“Oracle Stories: Mary Magdalene”

Lisa Levart’s interview with me on the making of Mary Magdalene



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A conference by mythologists for myth enthusiasts. Run by two fantastic women, Stephanie Zajchowski, PhD and Joanna Gardner, PhD. Register today!



Feature: Women to Follow

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Carol P. Christ, PhD

Feminist Theologian, Goddess Scholar, and Ariadne Tour Leader

(Image: From her website)

I first learned about Carol P. Christ from “Why Women Need the Goddess”, an essay she published in 1979 in a book (Womanspirit Rising) she co-edited with Judith Plaskow. I am currently revisiting this essay—again—for the umpteenth time because it lays the foundation for my doctoral thesis. Needless to say, each time I read her essay I come away from it invigorated, inspired, and feeling as though I am on the right path.

Christ also leads Ariadne Pilgrimage Tours in Crete and has published many books on the Goddess.

Check out her website: goddessariadne.org


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Annalisa Derr Annalisa Derr

Finding Mary Magdalene

Seeing the fortress high above me, I parked my car and prepared myself for the ascent. The path was rocky and steep, but I felt encouraged by fellow pilgrims. Along the route I could hear the melodic ringing of cow bells, dangling from the necks of cows, far off in the distance. As I approached the summit I turned to look out among the sea of mountain peaks, and was rendered nearly speechless. “This must be what Heaven looks like,” I whispered. For as far as the eye could see, were voluptuous green mountain peaks, extending outward past Spain, and reaching what I imagined to be, the Atlantic Ocean . . .

FINDING MARY MAGDALENE BLOG SERIES.

“Languedoc Part 3: Finding Mary Magdalene”

Originally Published: June 19th, 2014

Coming off my “angelic high” from the previous day’s journey to Alet-les-Bains, I awoke and prepared for another driving adventure in France. You may remember that I had previously mentioned the terror I experienced at the mere thought of driving in France. When the time finally came, the only “challenge” I had was finding a gas station among the bountiful vineyards. My second driving experience, however, was not as charming. 

I took a shuttle bus to the Carcassonne airport only to discover the car rental place was not actually located at the airport; and to make matters worse, it required me take a taxi to the rental office. Crisis averted, I got the car, set my GPS in English mode, and took off for the nearest gas station. There was, however, a minor problem. The station had no gas attendant on duty to take my cash, and because my American credit cards lack a “chip,” the French card machine would not take them.

So, off I went in search of a mega gas station. Again, I encountered the same problem. I kindly asked another driver what was going on and he informed me that because it was a national holiday in France, the gas attendant would not be on duty.

Well! That would surely pose a problem with just a quarter tank of gas and several sites to visit.

I drove back to the agency and explained my dilemma, of which he could offer me no solution, but ensured me there would be a station along the way in Limoux.

Off I went. By the seventh try, I was desperate. I sat at the pump wondering what to do. Then, as if by divine intervention, an attractive man with shoulder length curly hair, pulled up in a vehicle I would certainly label a “hippie van.” He must have sensed I have a thing for the gypsy type! I realized this was my chance. As he was pumping gas, I casually got out of my car, and approached him. Turning on the charm, I smiled and asked if he spoke English. “No,” he said, fainning apology. “Okay, no problem,” I mumbled to myself, “I’ll try in French.” So off I went about my “grand problème,” and he got it! Not only did he get it, but he offered to put the gas on his credit card in exchange for my cash! 

Emergency averted, I took off for the destination du jour, Rennes-le-Chateau. To my amazement, and slight embarrasment, the very next gas station I passed had an attendant on duty. Obviously, there was an important lesson I needed to learn regarding flirting and French men.

International fame hit Rennes-le-Chateau with Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. However, decades before, the tiny town had become notorious for the scandalous parish priest, François Bérenger Saunière.  Supposedly, he had discovered a hidden treasure on its grounds. Some say it was actual golden treasure, while others believed it was the remains of Mary Magdalene. Further more, Saunière was said to hold secret information about Jesus and Mary Magdalene.

After several winding turns, I arrived at the little mountaintop village of Rennes-le-Chateau. I walked through the quiet streets toward the abbey, stopping at a gift shop along the route. Decked with books and jewelry and music - pretty much all things spiritual - I had the sneaking feeling that something quite unspiritual was brewing.

Somehow, I ended up buying a ticket for the museum, which was a conspiracy theorist’s dream. The museum gift shop even sold Rennes-le-Chateau wine, bearing Saunière’s face. Despite the lack of depth, I did find delight in the Magdal Tower, built on church grounds by Saunière.

According to Margaret Starbird, Magdal (from Magdala) means “The Tower” in Hebrew. She contends that the town of Magdala did not exist during the lifetime of Jesus and Mary, so it is more plausible that Magdala (Magdalene) was not Mary Magdalene’s given name. For Starbird, this suggests that Magdala was a name given to Mary Magdalene to denote her strength and wisdom within the community of Jesus and his followers, eventually earning her the title of “Apostle to the Apostles.”  

The church of Rennes-le-Chateau was tiny and darkly lit.  I knew in my heart that the spirit of Mary was not there; the energy had become more about the drama and intrigue of the Saunière story and less about her story.  Mid-meditation, a camera crew entered the small church, filming a very important person, and his entourage. Images of Mary Magdalene were numerous, yet I found myself annoyed by the “scene” of Rennes-le-Chateau, and quickly left for solitude just outside the town walls. The surrounding grounds were beautiful and lush, and despite my overall misgivings, I feel there may lay a secret of Mary hidden within the hills of Rennes-le-Chateau.

I eagerly left Rennes-le-Chateau, but first, made time to enjoy a fabulous lavender creme brûlée.  

Next I drove to nearby spa town, Rennes-les-Bains. I was mesmerized by its beauty and vibrant energy. Hippies littered the streets. Inside I jumped for joy. Along the ancient pathways and the river of Rennes-les-Bains, one can find such glorious sites as the Seat of Isis, The Source Madeleine, and the Fountain of Lovers; where, legend has it, if you and your lover bathe naked in its waters, you’ll be lovers for all time.

Sadly, I was out of time. I left Rennes-les-Bains—promising to return soon—for Mt. Bugarach, a supposed former Essene community tucked away in the Pyrenees. I took a stroll through its empty ancient streets, admiring Mt. Bugarach, as it loomed over the city; a stoic protector of an ancient lineage forever in hiding from the ancient Roman Empire.

Severely behind schedule and over my allotted mileage, I decided to head to Montségur. To miss such a sight was not an option for me.  Despite overwhelming car-sickness, I drove like the wind through the endlessly winding roads of the Pyrenees. After much anxiety and doubt that I would ever reach Montségur, my GPS informed me I was 5 kilometers from my destination. A heavy mist hung in the air, as I drove further into the heart of the Pyrenees and Cathar country.

I looked up and was overcome by the view of a fortress nestled high upon a mountain peak. “How stunning!” I exclaimed to myself. “How beautiful and majestic. But that CAN’T be Montségur. I only have 5 kilometers left…I’ll have to visit that site next time I’m in the region.” Ten minutes later, as I approached the town of Montségur, I realized that that fortress was indeed, Montségur.

Seeing the fortress high above me, I parked my car and prepared myself for the ascent. The path was rocky and steep, but I felt encouraged by fellow pilgrims. Along the route I could hear the melodic ringing of bells, dangling from the necks of cows, far off in the distance. As I approached the summit I turned to look out among the sea of mountain peaks, and was rendered nearly speechless. “This must be what Heaven looks like,” I whispered. For as far as the eye could see, were voluptuous green mountain peaks, extending outward past Spain, and reaching what I imagined to be, the Atlantic Ocean.

Face-to-face with the now abandoned majestic fortress of Montségur, I imagined life streaming in and out of it’s stone walls. I entered the fortress and a sudden stillness came over me, as if I were walking into someone’s intimate space. The inner walls of the fortress held the laughter of children. I could almost see them playing hide and seek. I realized there was a presence still lingering from the trauma of long ago.

Montségur gained notoriety for being the last stronghold of the Cathars in the face of the Crusades. History has mixed understanding of the Cathars, with the most commonly held belief that the Cathars were a serious acetic religion that believed the material world to be sinful, and therefore devoted all their attention and energy to the spiritual realm. In esoteric circles it is believed that the Cathars were actually the keepers of an original Gnostic Christianity. Their primary teacher, Mary Magdalene. And, depending on who you talk to, Jesus as well. The Cathar faith and belief held the knowledge of the Holy Grail, which was protected by the Knight Templar, and had connections to the activist medieval love poets, the Troubadours. To read Joseph Campbell’s exciting commentary on the Troubadours, click here: 

https://journey-to-the-goddess.tumblr.com/post/86396881610/marriage-in-the-middle-agesas-in-most-of

The Church launched a full-out crusade against the Cathars and region of Languedoc. They slaughtered and burned them, until only those of Montségur were left. After a year siege, the water supply within the high fortress of Montségur failed, leaving the Cathars with no choice but to surrender. The Church, feeling “generous,” gave the Cathars the option to convert to Catholicism and be saved, or be burned at the stake. After a 15 days truce, it was over. All 200 Cathars - men, women, and children - calmly walked down the mountain and into the burning pyres. And that was, essentially, the end of the Cathars. Some believe a few escaped and kept the knowledge alive. Still others say those who escaped kept the royal bloodline of Mary and Jesus alive.

Upon my descent, I looked out at the endless horizon and wondered what it was like for the Cathars, in the face of certain death, to see this view for the last time. So I chose to honor the Cathars the only way I knew how: by infusing each step I took down the mountain with honor and dignity, for a people willing to die for their beliefs.

My drive home was full of emotion. The mystique of the Pyrenees faded into perfectly manicured rolling vineyards, and country houses made of stone.

I returned my car without problem and made my way back to Carcassonne. Suddenly, I realized my pilgrimage was officially over. I smiled as I reflected on the months of planning and hard work it took to prepare for this pilgrimage, that resulted in a life changing two week adventure. The icing on the cake? On the following day I would be turning 31 in my new favorite French city, Arles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My heart bursting with love, I traveled from Arles to Nice and from Nice down into Italy. An open invitation awaited me in Ischia. Tears fell from my face as I crossed over the French border into Italy. For this self-proclaimed Italophile, something new was blooming inside, something unexpected: a yearning to return to the southern region of France, where Mary Magdalene is honored and revered as a woman of courage, devotion, and passionate love.  Her name and reputation have been dirtied for nearly 2,000 years, as a way to manipulate and control people. One result, women have been placed secondary to men. This, as history is our witness, is a great disservice to women and men alike.

Although back in the states, my quest for Mary Magdalene has only just begun. Many others have come before me, and surely there will be plenty to follow.  To France and back, my search for Mary Magdalene has led me back to me.  My journey is her journey, and from this place of wisdom, I am truly finding myself.


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